If there is only one thing that is clearly evident in my journey of taking back my power in relationships, it’s that the more you revoke permission from others to use or abuse you, the more resistance you will encounter. I believe that there is a direct correlation between the need for you to do this in your life and the amount of resistance you will incur as a result. Why? Because the Universe is testing you (or “encouraging” you, if you will) to get mighty firm in your conviction that you are a powerful being. Therefore, you will be given many opportunities to stand up for yourself, to remove yourself from toxicity, to pick yourself up if the pieces have fallen, and to grow into your magnificence. A wise Shaman once told me that when you do things to free yourself from other people’s darkness, it’s a direct affront to those who choose to stay in darkness. It is their fear of you “jumping ship” and them not having the courage to do the same, and their ego then says “how dare you?!” As a result, they will resist…and you must be prepared to deal with that resistance. It is because of the fear of this pushback that many people choose to stay stuck in a powerless situation. After all, who would want to go through what may be one of the most excruciating processes of life: freeing oneself of abuse, manipulation, and domination? Who wants to join that fight? It is only the sensitive, intuitive, and self-loving souls who will step up to the plate. Only those who know within their being that standing in a powerless situation is not where God or Spirit would want them to be. Only those who have an innate need for a better life and relationships, those who know they are deserving of that (and more) will be the ones to either fight or quickly escape. Either way, fight or flight, they will end the dynamics. If you are still reading this blog, then you are likely one of those people. And it’s important for you to understand that standing up to abusers and manipulators is not about being powerful over others. It is about standing in your own power, which may or may not be seen as threatening to others (but that is not your “stuff” anyway). Standing in your own power is having the intrinsic knowing that it is safe to be you and that you are deserving of respect, kindness, and compassion. It is about speaking your truth and getting your needs met regardless of the reaction of others around you. It’s about being ok with some people liking you and others not so much. Do not let feelings of unworthiness, guilt, or shame become your demise.
In the process of moving away from toxic people, be prepared for those in your circles who will walk away from you. Just let them keep walking because when they do, you will know that you have embraced who you really are and your lessons with the abusers are finally over. People who walk away are truly the ones who are unworthy of YOU. Let them go. But those who walk WITH you, they are the ones who know you are deserving of all good things. Hold tight to them as they care enough to support you on your journey moving forward.
In love and light,