I had a meltdown yesterday. I had it! I was on a downward spiral and decided I wasn’t good enough to start my own business, I wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to manage my own website, I should have directed all my energy into finding a full-time job like everyone else and not be chasing a dream of making an impact in the world with my natural gifts. Forget it! What was the point?! I was so frustrated with technology and how many hours it took away from my life that I was ready to dump my dreams and focus on the now – and at that time, the now was “this is all bullshit”.
Ahem…so when I finished my little temper tantrum and cried it all out, I stepped back to realize that I’m not going to be good at everything about starting a business! Shocking, I know – since Sagittarians are usually good at things that are important to them. And usually, we are very good at entrepreneurship. We are always chasing our dreams. Many of us reach it with bells and whistles. Our strengths are that we LOVE creating the big picture – we can see far into the horizon. But sometimes when it comes to the nitty gritty details, we have a hard time getting things done – unless we LOVE what we are doing. Turns out that although I LOVE fine tuning my programs and finding new and unique ways to guide students to tap into their bodies and optimize it’s function, but I really HATE doing the backend stuff with technology. This is not new news by any means, but yesterday I realized just how much I don’t WANT to do it because I jus t plane freakin hate it. It’s too black and white, line all your ducks in a row, backup backup backup, start over when necessary – screw that! If I am spending 500 times more effort on figuring out the technology side (with website hackers, fixes, backups that don’t work, and starting from scratch – again) then this shit is just not my thing. I wanted to be good at it – I really did. But it just aint happening.
I just wonder why it took so long to figure this out. Haven’t we all been in places in our lives where we have to say “f*ck that shit!” and move on to more meaningful things? I know I have! Many times when I was a child in school and couldn’t understand why I had to share my really cool carbon paper with the entire class and not just my close friends. Or when I was forced to attend religious education classes and couldn’t figure out why I had to memorize a bunch of men’s names and what battles they fought and won. And especially – and this was probably the most significant time I needed to be rebellious – when I married into a traditional family that had unrealistically high expectations of me as a woman yet gave me the least amount of respect. Yeah, ok…so this technology thing may not seem as significant as that last example at first but it actually may be one of those ah-ha moments that will change my life tremendously because if I stop trying to maintain power over something I know nothing about and hand it off to someone who does, it could literally make or break my business, right? That and the fact that I don’t have to pull any more of my beautiful hair out when I can’t figure things out; the fact that I will have more time to focus on what I am REALLY good at; and the fact that I will no longer be dreading the nitty gritty crap that ultimately brings the energy of frustration to the rest of my creation. Do I give a crap about being known for being good at technology? Hell no! I want to leave a legacy that people remember because I made a freakin difference! I want to be known for offering some really unique and awesome new ways of bringing power back into the hands of the individual – of helping them reclaim their magnificence. And this to me, is priceless. It’s where I need to be.
So before you end up throwing the baby out with the bathwater, check out my Life Hack for dealing with the crappy things that have to get done but you don’t wanna do em. It’s the “f*ck that shit” checklist:
- Is the stress of this thing worth it in the end? If yes, keep going and stop complaining.
- Can I delegate this to someone else? If no, stop complaining and keep going.
- How much will it cost me to hand this over? Or perhaps the better question is: what’s it going to cost me NOT to?
Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Even if it’s only for a moment. Instead, let go of whatever you possibly can that doesn’t bring you joy or passion, and focus only on what makes you want to pee yourself silly because you ‘re SO freakin happy and passionate about sharing your dreams with others.
Peace + passion = prosperity. Ah-ha!
In love and light,